Greetings skinners, designers and procrastinators!! Allow me to welcome you to to the definitive guide to getting nothing done. Now I know what you're thinking....  Well maybe not really, but I can imagine... No wait, I can't do that either.

Just like everything else I've tried to do, I seem to be lacking that creative genius that everyone else has. I just can't seem to get a thought (however fleeting) out of this mass on my shoulders and onto the canvas. It always starts out the same way. I be looking through the seemingly endless collections of skins, themes, widgets, objects, bars, icons, objects, wallpapers, scripts, art, and whatever else I can say all in one breath. Then all of the sudden I get a revelation...

Wouldn't it be great if...and just like that it's gone. Some time passes and the pages fly by at the speed of broadband. Whats this? Another great idea bounces it's way into my brain. But this time it's different. It lingers for a while. This is unusual, I think, so I write it down. Just a little sticky note. I think i'll pin it up right about here... right on top of all my other great ideas. Here's a few examples of what I've got on this never ending pile of paper squares.

"theme name" needs a little cleanup around the edge of the start menu
"wallpaper name" could use a little red touch up here (imagine a quick drawing with an arrow)
"clip art" would make a great icon set (didn't print it and didn't write the site name down)
"amzinglylongwordoftheday" would make a great widget for the desktop (I was even going to call it that)
ummmmm............

Come to think of it, that's all the ideas I ever had. Well, not really. There might be one or two more. I'm kidding just a little here. I have literally hundreds of these notes all over the place. Every once in a while I'll take a look through them and wonder what I meant by this cryptic drawing or scribbled text. Only to put them back in the stack or in a drawer somewhere. When I die, I'll have them sent to a museum somewhere for people to gawk at and wonder what kind of closet genius I was or wasn't.

Anywho, by this time tomorrow another great idea will be on top of the last. Forever condemmed to a life of solitude, just staring at the back of another idea. Now I must admit that a few times an idea got moved  out of that stack and into the "real" world. This is the type of idea that is just so incredibly groundbreaking that it just can't be left to rot with all the others. This is the point where software gets launched and lines of code written and a call goes out to the graphics guru. Things are taking shape. This time I know what you are thinking.. It's gonna get shoved back into the stack..

BINGO!! It always ends the same way. I hope you're happy now..

Along comes the next big thing. But I have decided this time, no matter what, I'm going to finish this project. It's a stupendous, humongous, gigantic, collossally great idea too. I can't believe I even thought of it. And it came at a time when I was able to actually act. Have some time, things in life are settling down, my PC is performing well for a change. You know what I mean. All the pieces seem to fit. So here I sit with this stroke of pure genius idea and I'm looking for the tools to get the job done right. Since this is a graphics project, I'll need a graphics program. Which one to choose, I think to myself... (imagine a cartoon thought bubble here with dancing software boxes)

Right away the first thing into my mind is Photoshop. Never used it before but it's only graphics. How hard can this really be? Right? <insert histerical laughter here> In hind sight, I probably should have actually USED the trial version before I bought it. So there I have this real pretty box and a couple CD's and a book or two. After all, can't buy software without a "dummies" book these days. No it really wan't a dummies book. Just threw that in there to illustrate a point. My god did this look daunting. So many buttons and properties and settings! That stupid book made it look easy. Stupid publishers. Stupid software companies. Stupid me for believing I could ever make this idea come to life.

Discouraged and several hundred dollars poorer, I'm sitting at my desk looking at buttons and boxes that take up more space than I was given to actually work with. I decided to wander over to google (mighty, mighty google) ALL HAIL THE GOOGLE!! .... Oops sorry, got sidetracked there. So I am at google doing a search for photoshop beginner tutorial and glancing here and there through 537,000 or so results. I manage to bookmark a couple of the simpler looking ones and after a day or two I have this nicely categorized and sorted collection of bookmarks. But....

You guessed it. Not a single tutorial finished. Most not even half done. I try to follow the steps but it just doesn't look right. I start to think, maybe the tutorial was made with a different version of this POS software. (No I really don't think that PS is or ever was a POS) Or maybe I'm just a moron who can't get simple concepts. It's always this way. Now, I need you to know that I'm not a moron and as insane as this sounds I have a graphic background (of sorts). I do 3D modeling with some rather complicated software that costs thousands of dollars. I learned that with no problem. But I had no experience with anything 2D. Using #d software is like sculpting. you can see the form taking shape. Somehow it just came natural to me. It seemed so much easier than this looming task of learning to "fake" it with 2D.

And before you ask.. I did try using the 3D software to create for the desktop projects but it always got messed up somehow or transformed into some bigger project. And it never really came out right after the render to use for what I was originally intending it. Another thing that I should mention as well. Everything i create with that software is not my property. intillectual or otherwise. It belongs (or belonged now) to the company i worked for at the time.

So getting back to my fantasic idea and my endeavor to create the next great cisually stunning piece of desktop transformation art. I finally did get through a tutorial and it somehow came out just the way it was supposed to. It looked noce and scaled well and had all the pretty little filters and effects applied right. I was very pleased with myself. Now for all the money and mental frustration I've gone though to get to this point. I barely have any energy left to celebrate my "victory" over this software. So I head over to McDonalds, after all, I deserve a break today..

While I'm there, munching on some fries and whatever else I ordered that day, I get another whopper of an idea. (Pun intended) No sticky note to write on this time though and I didn't bring a pen. So getting out my trusty pointer finger and using the thoughtfully provided packet of ketchup, I begin sketching my idea on a napkin. Man this would go great together with that thing I was thinking the other time when I saw the thing form that site. Sketching and smearing and munching and smearing some more. I've gotten everything layed out here. Four napkins all perfectly aligned with somewhat legible markings. This is the motherload. The big one. I'm reminded of one of those really long words I learned once.

I've gone though a couple refills of my large Coke (with no ice) and by this time I really need to go releive myself. So i did what anyone would have done. I folded up my napkins neatly and stuffed them gently into my pocket. I do not use public facilities so off to home I go in a terrible rush. I take care of my business and settle down a bit from my day. It's real late by this time so I decide to have a good nights sleep and get started on my work in the morning. Being thorougly exhausted, I did what I always did and threw the clothes i was wearing into the laundry chute, forgetting about the napkins. You can imagine what happens next.

So here I am today writing this, my first blog entry ever, with nothing to show for all of my hard work and investment. All I wanted to do was....

Oooooh... I just got an idea....